progress and meltdowns

Ah, today.... could have been a good day. We discussed the progress Amber was making, as we were sitting with the doctor... all great signs of growth in the face of adversity. We had to leave camp early today, as the appointment was at 4. When we returned to pick up a friend, Amber was informed that her group of friends, that had all formed a club under her leadership.... well... they flew the coup in her absence and all joined other groups or formed new groups. I am watching her face in the rear view mirror the entire time... knowing all to well what is to come, and I feel the pain for her. "you can be in OUR club... and be Vice President" the little girl tells her... "we make sandcastles on Wednesdays"..... no, amber says I do not want to be in your club, MY club makes sandcastles on Mondays. all in all, the whole idea of the group sounds pretty petty... but the keen observation is this:

1. Amber, though highly disappointed, is keeping her cool, visibly upset by the outcome, but composed enough to survive the car ride home, all the while being reminded that non of her friends are in her club any more.
2. Her friends that 'left' to join the 'sassy girls' (aka mean little shits) probably didn't need to be in her club in the first place.
3. Amber is a natural leader, and in her absence the weaker girls fell back, and would most likely return apon her arrival at camp tommorrow.

I think we have survived, amber seems to have shaken it off, and wants to go swimming with the friend, so off they go. When I pick her up from the pool, she mentions the club, and I told her "no matter what, I will ALWAYS be in your club".... and the floodgates open. she is sobbing so hard that she is gagging on the snot running down her face. "But I made 1/2 the girls president and 1/2 the girls vice president while I was gone and they just QUIT...." she says... "its not FAIR... no one is in my club except you...." "I let EVERYONE be in my club, and now they are all in different clubs, and I have no one" this goes on for an hour or two, until I finally get her to remember how many cool friends she has that will always be in her club, and that if the other girls don't want to be in the club, that is fine. Your other club goes all year, not just for a few weeks out of the year, and then falls apart when you go home an hour early! Think about all the people who can't wait to see you again! They are still your friend the next day... right? Those are real friends.

Tomorrow morning might still be a struggle... and I hope that the balance of power levels out before she's gone for 2 weeks.... I can't handle the thought of this carrying over... it took everything in my being to not break down and cry with her... she has to learn such hard lessons so young! (or is she just getting that old?)

ugh.... I'm starting to think maybe having a boy won't be so hard!